Ever had a moment in your life where you’re just cruising along, everything’s chill, then BAM! – life throws you a curveball so wild, you just know it’s gonna be a long day? That’s me right now, except swap “day” with “week” (or maybe even “month”, who knows with this saga?!).
Remember how your Titas used to tell you horror stories about debt collectors? Yeah, well, buckle up, because this is the modern, digital version starring yours truly. And let me tell you, it’s giving me major praning vibes.
Here’s the sitch: I used to be a proud Citibank cardholder. You know, responsible pa-star-star, paying off balances like a good millennial. Then, I decided to spread my wings and fly off to a foreign land. Naturally, I closed my Citibank account before hopping on that plane. I mean, it just made sense, right? Tie up loose ends, start fresh, all that jazz.
Fast forward to now, peacefully living my life abroad, and suddenly… BAM! I get an email. From UnionBank (UB). A statement, you ask? Oh, you bet! Except… plot twist! I never had a UB account in my entire life!
Insert dramatic music here
Naturally, like any sane person, I emailed them back. “Uh, dear UB, wrong number, I think? Never had an account with you guys.” I even threw in a friendly reminder about the whole Citibank takeover thing, just in case.
Their response? “Your case is complicated.”
Complicated?! My dear, trying to assemble Ikea furniture while reading the instructions in Swedish is complicated. This? This is just… weird.
But okay, I tried to be understanding. Maybe there was a system glitch. Maybe a stray cat walked across a keyboard somewhere and magically created an account in my name.
So, I replied, politely asking if there’s even an account under my name. I even dropped the “F-bomb” – FRAUD. I mean, if someone opened an account using my details, that’s a big no-no!
And then came the email that tipped me over the edge. They asked for the last 4 digits of my account and my recurring charges.
Insert exasperated sigh here
Again, I repeat: I. DO. NOT. HAVE. A. UB. ACCOUNT.
It felt like I was stuck in a game of tanga-tangahan, only this was far from funny. It was getting ridiculous!
But wait, there’s more! The grand finale came in the form of an email saying, “We have blocked your card. We can’t help you further.”
Blocked my what now? The phantom card linked to the non-existent account? My friends, I almost choked on my pan de sal.
So, here I am, writing this chronicle of my credit card woes, hoping against hope that someone out there has experienced this digital kalokohan. Is this a glitch in the Matrix? A remnant of the Citibank migration? Or am I living in a parallel universe where I opened a UB account and completely blacked it out?
Stay tuned, folks, because this mystery is far from solved. In the meantime, if you see a rogue credit card wandering around with my name on it, please tell it to go home. It’s lost and clearly confused.
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