Ate, Bakit? Dealing with a Sibling’s Unfair Treatment and Anger

You know that feeling, diba? Yung tipong para kang walking punching bag ng sarili mong kapatid? Yung konting kibot mo lang, parang sasabog na yung mundo niya… at ikaw yung lava?

Sakit, eh? Lalo na kung wala ka namang ginagawa. You’re just there, existing, tapos biglang… BOOM, galit na naman si ate mo.

I feel you. Been there, done that. Hindi lang yung na-erupt-an, but also yung erupting volcano itself. And trust me, it’s a wild ride.

Let’s break this down like a champorado left out in the heat – sticky, complicated, but we’ll get through it.

Is It Me? Or Is It Her? Decoding the Anger

First things first, let’s address the elephant in the room: your sister’s anger.

• Could it be a bad day? Sure, we all have those days where we’re basically Grumpy Cat in human form.
• Stress from school or work? Adulting is hard, pare. Minsan, family becomes the unintended outlet.
• Or something deeper? This is where it gets tricky. Sometimes, anger is a symptom of something bigger, like a mental health condition.

Now, I’m not saying na your sister automatically has a mental health condition ha. But based on my own experience (yung tipong Bipolar 2 ang peg ko), uncontrollable anger and lashing out at loved ones were my calling cards.

It took me time, professional help, and a whole lot of self-discovery to understand what was happening inside my head.

Mental Health Matters: A Helping Hand, Not a Heavy Burden

If you suspect that your sister might be struggling with a mental health condition, here’s the thing:

• It’s not your responsibility to diagnose her. I know you love her, but leave that to the professionals.
• Encourage her to seek help. This is crucial. Imagine carrying a backpack full of rocks – that’s what it feels like to deal with an undiagnosed mental health condition.
• Support her journey. Be there for her, but remember, you can’t force her to change. Healing is a personal journey.

Protecting Your Peace: Setting Boundaries, Even With Family

This is where it gets real, mga ‘tol. As much as we love our family, we need to remember that our well-being is important too.

Imagine your emotional energy as a phone battery. Every time your sister unleashes her anger on you, it drains your battery life. Eventually, you’ll be running on empty, and that’s not healthy.

Setting boundaries is like plugging your phone into a charger. It’s a way to protect your energy and prioritize your mental health.

• Start small: The next time she’s about to erupt, try saying something like, “Ate, I love you, but I need some space right now. We can talk about this later when we’re both calmer.”
• Be firm: This might be difficult at first, especially if your sister is used to you being her emotional punching bag. But stand your ground.
• Distance yourself if needed: This doesn’t mean you love her any less. Sometimes, distance is necessary to protect ourselves from further hurt.

Tough Love: It’s Okay to Say No to Toxicity

Here’s a hard truth bomb: it’s okay to cut off toxic people, even if they’re family.

Family isn’t just about blood; it’s about respect, love, and support. If your sister’s anger is constantly creating a negative and hurtful environment, you have every right to step back.

Think of it this way: would you let your friends treat you the way your sister is treating you? If the answer is no, then why accept it from your own flesh and blood?

Communication is Key: The Art of the Calm (But Firm) Conversation

Now, before you go full-on ghost mode on your sister, let’s try one more thing: communication.

I know, I know. Talking about feelings can be more awkward than that time you accidentally called your teacher “mama.” But trust me, it’s worth a shot.

Here are a few tips for navigating this conversation:

• Choose the right time and place: Not when she’s about to erupt like Taal Volcano. Find a calm and neutral setting.
• Use “I” statements: This helps avoid blaming or accusing. For example, instead of saying “You’re always so angry,” try “I feel hurt and disrespected when you shout at me.”
• Be open to listening: Communication is a two-way street. Give her space to share her side of the story, too.

You Are Not Alone: Finding Support and Strength

Dealing with a sibling who constantly takes their anger out on you is tough. It can leave you feeling drained, hurt, and emotionally exhausted. But always remember: you are not alone.

• Reach out to a trusted friend or family member: Talk about how you feel. Sometimes, just voicing out your emotions can make a world of difference.
• Seek professional help: If you’re struggling to cope, don’t hesitate to seek professional help from a therapist or counsellor. They can provide you with the tools and support you need to navigate this challenging situation.
• Remember your worth: You deserve to be treated with love, respect, and kindness. Don’t ever forget that.

At the end of the day, the relationship with your sister is a complex one. But by setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and prioritizing your well-being, you can create a healthier and happier environment for yourself – even if it means taking a step back.

Keep your chin up, kapit lang, and know that you’ve got this.