Is It Me? Am I the beep For Not Funding My Sister’s Big Day?!

Okay, fam. Let’s talk kasalan culture. We all know how Filipinos do weddings: BIG. FIESTA. FOOD. MUSIC. But what happens when the expectation lands on YOU, the younger sibling, to cough up cash for Ate’s dream wedding?

Hold up. Let’s unpack this.

You’re Not An ATM, You’re a Sibling!

First off, let’s get real. You’re not obligated to sponsor anyone’s wedding, even family. Your money? Your choice. It’s THEIR wedding, THEIR responsibility.

Wedding Costs: Who’s Paying What?

• The Couple: Ideally, the couple getting married foots the bill. It’s their love story, their financial commitment.
• Parents (Optional): If, and ONLY if, the parents WANT and CAN AFFORD it, they can contribute. No pressure, no guilt trips allowed.
• You? Nope. You’re there for moral support, hand-painted invites (maybe), and to bust a move on the dance floor.

“But It’s Family! We Help Each Other!”

Sure, we Filipinos are all about family. But helping doesn’t mean draining your bank account!

Before you cave to the pressure, ask yourself:

• Have they been financially responsible? Or are they always naka-asa?
• Is the wedding budget realistic? Or is it a “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” fantasy gone wrong?
• Who’s pressuring you the most? And what are THEIR contributions? (Spoiler alert: Probably wala.)

Weddings Don’t Have to Break the Bank

Let’s debunk the myth that weddings need to be lavish affairs. Here’s the truth:

• Basic Requirements: You need a licensed officiant, a marriage license, and two people in love. That’s it.
• Everything Else? Extra. Fancy venues, designer gowns, 10-tier cakes… those are choices, not necessities.

My hubby and I? We had a simple ceremony with close friends and family. Good food, good music, good vibes. The cost? Less than a used car!

The “Handout Mentality” Trap

Be careful of falling into the trap of funding your sister’s lifestyle. If they can’t afford a wedding, chances are they haven’t been financially responsible. And guess what? That pwedeng tuloy-tuloy.

You might end up being asked to contribute to:

• The downpayment for their house
• Their new car loan
• Their future kids’ tuition

Don’t set a precedent that you’re their financial safety net.

How To (Nicely) Say “No Can Do”

Confrontation isn’t our strong suit, I know. But you need to set boundaries. Here’s how:

• “I’m so happy for you, but I’m not in a position to contribute financially.” (Simple, direct, to the point.)
• “I’m saving up for [insert financial goal here]. But I’d love to help with [offer a non-monetary contribution].” (Shows support while setting boundaries.)
• “I think it’s important for you two to start your life together on a solid financial foundation. Have you considered a smaller wedding?” (A gentle nudge towards reality.)

You’re Not Obligated, Okay?

Listen up: Your worth isn’t measured by how much money you can shell out. You’re not selfish, you’re being financially responsible.

Remember:

• You are not the beep for prioritizing your financial well-being.
• You deserve respect, not pressure.
• And most importantly, true family supports each other, not each other’s spending habits.

Now go enjoy that lechon at the wedding buffet—guilt-free!